self help

elightenment

Where are you going?

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Where are you running to?
A little voice arises and asks, “can I go too?”
“No, you may not go, for I am running away from you.”
The voice laughs and says, “you cannot run away from me I’ll always be with you!”
“Too late!”, you say I’ve made up my mind
“Tick Tock Tick Tock,” the voice says, you’re running out of time
“I know, and you keep holding me back!”
“Well if you want to keep going I’ll cut you some slack”
“Okay Thanks,” you say, “I needed a breather”
The voice is now loudly saying, “A breather from who? We are one you see”
“When you try and run all you will continue to find is me!”
“So, quit with your complaining and resisting and give in”
“You keep trying to run but try and remember I am your ego that lies within. “

We have periods in life where we want to run away from our problems, but that will not solve the problem. It’s when we look within we can give ourselves answers and understanding no matter where you are. It’s not where you are or where you’re going on, it’s the noise and confusion on the inside that you are dying to stop. I have never realized how much control I have given to my unconscious mind (my ego). I did not know that we are all condition to behave, think, act, and speak on one basic level. I was unaware of my inner being, though I know that it keeps me alive and keeps energy coursing through my body, I never focused on feeling it and being in its present state. I have always felt different and like there was something missing in my life. I know we all feel it to a degree, but it is such a strong feeling within me. I have been on a forever journey searching from something or someone to feel that void within me, I never knew it’d be me. I am waking up, I am becoming conscious and even though I am only experiencing it at smaller doses it still feels good. I desire to be present and still, to listen to life and give it my full attention in the now. We spend our lives searching and anxious, never at ease always looking for something, never able to truly enjoy life. Our mind keeps us from experiencing our true consciousness. If you look around, you’ll be able to see what your ego has created in your life. And this is not to fault the ego because it’s doing what it knows how to do. We must stop associating ourselves with a false sense of self and really dig deep within to discover our inner selves. It’s imperative for survival and I am not referring to a physical survival. I am talking about a survival of the mind.

There is this amazing book that I am sure people of heard of, but I am going to share an excerpt and link below to it. It is titled “The Power of Now” and it is changing my life. Down below is an excerpt and link.

“I cannot live with myself any longer.” This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. “Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the ‘I’ and the ‘self’ that ‘I’ cannot live with.” “Maybe,” I thought, “only one of them is real.” (https://www.eckharttolle.com/power-of-now-excerpt/) I am no way affiliated with this book in any way. I am sharing it because I believe it can change lives, give it a try 😊

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Bottle of Emotions

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Lately, I’ve been bottling up my emotions and today I couldn’t keep them from spilling out, so I sat down and wrote a list of what I would want in a relationship. Here goes…

What I want in a relationship

  • Someone to hold my hand
  • To encourage me in a loving way
  • Be loving towards me even when I’m miserable
  • Give me loving affirmations
  • Adore me
  • Let me be free to be myself
  • Push me in the direction that’s best for me
  • Support me in all that I do

Now, while I was reading this list I started to think of that saying, “be the change in the world that you want to see.”

Sometimes I think to myself, “why is my life the way it is?” I know it’s because I choose for it to be. Everyone goes through seasons and I have a hard time letting things run their course. I want instant gratification and I know I won’t get it. Good things come with time and acceptance of yourself and your journey.

I am currently in a mode where I have a hard time expressing myself and all I want to do is release these feelings. I keep looking at my outside stresses and blaming them, but I know better. I know that I am in charge of the energy that flows in and out of my life, but I believe that I don’t know how to change it.

My energy feels like it is all over the place and it’s pulling me in two different directions. I feel confused like I don’t know which way to go. I still haven’t found my voice. I hear everyone else’s voice except mine.

Funny story: I asked my ten-year-old son if he hears more than one voice in his head and he told me yes. He says he hears my voice and his own voice battling one another. It freaked me out because I don’t want to be a loud voice battling him in his head. I want his voice to be the loudest. I want him to be himself, not what I tell him to be. Of course, he needs guidance and redirection, but I don’t want him to feel controlled and I don’t want to control him.

After I had that discussion with him I started to wonder when I started to hear someone else’s voice and when did what they say and felt trump what I wanted and who I wanted to become? When did these voices get here and more importantly how do I get rid of them?

I’m not going to pretend like I know what I’m doing and what it is I want, but I have to start somewhere. I have to get rid of everyone else’s opinion of who they think I should be. I’m cheating myself and the world of who I really am, the authentic me. I know that I do not want to be controlled anymore, I know that I’m done feeling empty and allowing myself to be defined by titles that don’t describe who I really am.

Going back to the beginning of this post, those things I wrote about what I want someone to be for me, I’ve realized that I am the one who will provide that to myself. Granted I can’t hold my own hand, but I most certainly can love myself entirely. I have started to put into action the love that I know I deserve and as I continue to do that, others will follow suit.

It was hard writing this, I cried the whole way through. This post is the first post I’ve written in a while that was purely emotional. That’s how I am choosing to write from now on. This felt so good, getting it out, maybe I can help someone that’s also in this position to see that they aren’t alone.

Thank you for reading and stopping by. Comment if you’d like, I am open to discussions on self-healing 😊

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6 STEPS TO BECOMING EMOTIONALLY SELF SUFFICIENT

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6 STEPS TO BECOMING EMOTIONALLY SELF SUFFICIENT

What does it mean to be emotionally self-sufficient? How do you become emotionally independent? Are these questions that you have asked yourself before? Are you open to information to help change your perception of becoming more self-aware and sufficient?

Good news! I have 6 steps that will help you on the path of self-dependency and less anxiety!

1. Accept yourself! Now I know this might seem obvious but think about this for a moment. Think about how you truly accept yourself? If accepting yourself is based on what others think, then that is not it. If you are constantly berating yourself when you mess up on something, then that is not it either. Accepting yourself means to take the good with the bad, truly knowing who you are and what you are capable of and going out and being completely you.

2. Make your own decisions. That goes hand in hand with number one. If you accept yourself and you are not looking to people for approval in your life you can make decisions based on how you feel and what you want for you. What makes sense in your life for you, may not for others and that is perfectly normal.

3. Accept responsibility for the things you choose to do. If you choose to do something solely because of you, be willing to own up to it and accept it for what it is. Do not beat yourself up about it if it was not the best decision. Life is about trial and error and no one person on this planet is without fault.

4. Acquire more skills. When we have things that we do not like about ourselves, the awesome thing about self-acceptance is also having the ability to change. Change and growth are so IMPORTANT in becoming emotionally independent. The reason being is, when we are open to growth we start to evolve from the mental battles we have internally. We stop putting up a fight within ourselves and allow for the change to happen and before you know it, your doing things you never thought you had the gumption to do!

5. Take care of your body. I am not suggesting going out and get a new workout and food regimen. What I mean is to pay attention to the signs that your body is sending you. If you feel sick take a break, if you have been working late take time to meditate and release toxic energy. Yes, we all need to work, but what is the point of working if you are killing yourself. Being emotionally self-dependent is taking care of your mind AND body.

6. Lastly, find healthy ways to express your negative feelings. If you are upset or even sad, it is very important that you ALLOW yourself to feel the emotions, let them flow through your body. I used to make the mistake of holding in everything and it made me lash out at people. And though this is not an easy journey it is very worth it in the end.

Of course, we know these steps are not going to develop into full-blown habits overnight, but just taking the time to implement in our daily lives can help us grow and change significantly. You owe it to yourself and you are worth it, to go ahead and start accepting and loving the real you. Do you really want to continue living a life how someone else tells you to?

 

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5 Steps to change negative mood into a positive mood

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Have you ever had a day where you just felt so lousy and you didn’t know what you could do to change it? I’ve dealt with this first hand and it’s nothing like a negative mood to ruin your whole day. I am here to offer you 5 steps that work for me when I’m being pessimistic.

  1. If you’re feeling down get off of social media there’s nothing worse than feeling crappy about your life but continuing to spend your time comparing your life to someone else’s. You’re bound to feel even worse about your predicament.
  2. Connect with someone you trust. A friend a family, or even a mental health care professional. Sometimes all we need is to just get the negative emotions out and speak them out loud. We might end up seeing how silly we sound after we’ve expressed ourselves.
  3. Get out and do something that you enjoy doing. Examples; ride a bike, go for a walk, paint, take pictures of yourself, go dance class, or go out to eat with a friend. Just being outside in the fresh air can help get our minds off of things.
  4. Exercise! Even if you aren’t a gym rat or someone that goes to the gym often. Just by getting the endorphins flooding your mind and body have scientifically been proven to reduce low moods.
  5. Last but not least, remember that is perfectly normal and okay to feel down sometimes. We are human and it’s just apart of who we are. Take a nap or just go to sleep for the day, refresh your body and mind. You can even meditate if you feel up to it before you sleep.

Even if you do the above-mentioned steps and you still don’t feel your best it’s alright we all go through. Use every day as an opportunity to be your best self! It’ll lead you down a path to less down days. I hope this helps! Make sure you subscribe to my newsletter, like, comment, and share my content! Thank you for visiting, see you soon!

be you

Worth

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As I sit and think, feelings of sadness arise. Why couldn’t I get a certain person to love me. Why? Why is it that when we pour our love into others, sometimes they don’t appreciate it nor pour back into you? I concluded that some folks are just not ready for your love. And it’s not to fault you for loving them, you did your absolute best. It’s hard going through that because at the end of it all you’re left with the guilt and pain of feeling unlovable.

On this journey to self-love, I have found that we should not take things like these personal. Most of the time they don’t know that they’re doing it, or they aren’t aware of the fact that it is hurting you. So how do we counter these feelings of being unloved?

We push forward through the love of ourselves. Understanding of who you are and where you have come from help. Life is a healing process and as I go through it I stop to think about all that I am learning and will continue to learn. Learning comes with unlearning. Unlearning those negative thoughts in your head. Unlearning that you aren’t worth time or love. Also learning that everyone is not worthy or deserving of your love.

Looking back on that time during a rough period in my life, I could see how lost I was. So willing and ready to fit in. As I grow I continue to unlearn that bad behaviour that was passed down to me. To readily and fully accept myself for who I am and who I choose to be. Because at the end of the day it’s a choice that we need to make. Ask yourself these questions and see what comes up.

Do I berate myself when I say something that I find stupid in a crowd?
Do I try my best to people please others?
Am I really being my best self in all that I do?
When was the last time I felt truly happy?

I believe when we stop and really meditate on these four questions, we get a better picture of how we are growing in self-love. If you feel like you do these things don’t be yourself up. Write down a list of things in your life that you a grateful for and let it be centred around you and no one else. See what you come up with and meditate on them daily.

It took a while for me to get where I am, and it will be the same for you. Remember that life it’s a process and we will be growing forever.

Peace and love!

austin-chan

Recalibrate

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It’s 9:30 in the evening and I’m finally able to relax! Today was hectic, in a good way. I don’t know why, but I must admit that this goes under one of the best days of my life. I did what I normally do, which is take care of my beautiful littles, chores, errands, etc.

So, why do I consider this one of my best days? I gave today and everyone in it my all. That’s it. I woke up this morning miserable and I was going to continue like that, until I sat down with my breakfast and flipboard. If you don’t know what flipboard is yet, you MUST investigate. It’s an app that you download on your mobile device or tablet and pick what interests you and then, you articles that are tailored to you. Now back to my morning.

I was flipping through articles and I landed on this interesting one. It’s written by Eric Baker and is titled 4 harsh truths that’ll make you a better person. This article was a wake-up call for me. Although I believed I had everything in order, this article showed me that I didn’t and that I wasn’t even close. The reason being is because it mentions death and the lack of time we have. Basically, I don’t want to get to the end of my life and look back with regrets. I mean I do believe we will all have regrets, but I don’t want to set myself up to look back and not be able to say I lived my life and I gave it and everyone in it every ounce of me.

“You will spend a lot of time and effort on something in life. You can resent it and half-ass it and just get by — or you can commit to it, build it, jump in with both feet – and reap great rewards.”

This is the quote that stuck out to me the most and is helping me change my attitude and viewpoint towards life. Why not give it your all and be joyful at the end of your life versus being miserable? Even it takes time to adopt a new outlook, why not start somewhere.

Take a moment and read this article it may inspire you to make your biggest move or your next big move. I know it did for me. Happy reading 😊

 

Link to article:

https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/4-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-a-better-person

 

© DiversifiedLyfe 2018