As I sit and think, feelings of sadness arise. Why couldn’t I get a certain person to love me. Why? Why is it that when we pour our love into others, sometimes they don’t appreciate it nor pour back into you? I concluded that some folks are just not ready for your love. And it’s not to fault you for loving them, you did your absolute best. It’s hard going through that because at the end of it all you’re left with the guilt and pain of feeling unlovable.
On this journey to self-love, I have found that we should not take things like these personal. Most of the time they don’t know that they’re doing it, or they aren’t aware of the fact that it is hurting you. So how do we counter these feelings of being unloved?
We push forward through the love of ourselves. Understanding of who you are and where you have come from help. Life is a healing process and as I go through it I stop to think about all that I am learning and will continue to learn. Learning comes with unlearning. Unlearning those negative thoughts in your head. Unlearning that you aren’t worth time or love. Also learning that everyone is not worthy or deserving of your love.
Looking back on that time during a rough period in my life, I could see how lost I was. So willing and ready to fit in. As I grow I continue to unlearn that bad behaviour that was passed down to me. To readily and fully accept myself for who I am and who I choose to be. Because at the end of the day it’s a choice that we need to make. Ask yourself these questions and see what comes up.
Do I berate myself when I say something that I find stupid in a crowd?
Do I try my best to people please others?
Am I really being my best self in all that I do?
When was the last time I felt truly happy?
I believe when we stop and really meditate on these four questions, we get a better picture of how we are growing in self-love. If you feel like you do these things don’t be yourself up. Write down a list of things in your life that you a grateful for and let it be centred around you and no one else. See what you come up with and meditate on them daily.
It took a while for me to get where I am, and it will be the same for you. Remember that life it’s a process and we will be growing forever.
Peace and love!